Last night

Wow, ok, 2 posts in one day. Must be something important right? No, not really.

But if you'll allow me to be serious for a moment. Not that I really need your permission - this is MY blog remember?

Lying in bed at 3 o'clock this morning I realised something. I'm in fucking Canada. I'm half a world away from the place I'm meant to call home and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. I miss the people more than anything but sometimes I don't. I also love Canada but I don't because it's not New Zealand.

I'm not sure how many people read this, 3, maybe 4 people that I know of plus a few others I suppose. It doesn't really matter. But I hope that one person in particular is reading this too. I think you know who you are. You told me that if I left, I'd change. You were right. And for the better I hope. I told myself too that if I left it'd give me a chance to gain some perspective on everything but I haven't been doing that. I've been living day to day not thinking about how this whole experience is affecting me. The full effects of this thing will probably not be known until I get back to New Zealand, if ever.

I realise that I'm only 10 weeks into this thing and there's another 4 months to go but I think it'd be to my detriment if I didn't think about what this whole experience is doing to me. I'm in a transitional period right now and I know that I'm changing but I can't quite put my finger on how or why or even what has changed me. I like to think that I've changed some of the people I've met as well but I guess I'll never really know for sure.

I guess that's it. A weird place to leave things but that's all I've got right now. Before I finish this completely though I'd like to thank you and everyone else who reads or has read this for doing so. I know no one is forcing you to (I hope not anyway) which makes me think or even hope that what I have to say or write means something to you. Also, if the person who I hope is reading this wants to get in contact then you know how.

Cheers.
(The next post will be a lot more uplifting, I promise.)